Personal Space Invaders

I loves me my personal space. Excessively so. It even took me a while to accept that many of my friends wish to hug hello and goodbye. Maybe I wasn't held enough as a child, who knows. My family isn't super "touchy," and I'm okay with that. So you can imagine my complete aversion to invasion of my personal space by complete and total strangers.

I understand that sometimes this is unavoidable. Like, it is understandable when you have to touch strangers on busy buses or subways, or at dance clubs, or in mosh pits. (Note: I have never, nor will I ever, voluntarily enter a mosh pit.) In these circumstances, I am willing to cede some territory to the enemy...within reason. What drives me crazy is when strangers invade my personal space when there is ample available room for them to inhabit without needing to offend my person with unnecessary touching.

For example, the other day I was waiting in line to get ice cream. A loud and obnoxious group of girls was behind me. I'm not sure if they were drunk, but they kept moving around, bumping into me in the process. I got hit with at least three purses and two rear ends. There was no one behind them in line, so why couldn't they continue their spastic conversation at least a foot outside of my range? Then they could flail about without disturbing others. Seeing as how I am studying for the bar, they are lucky their egregious touching didn't result in me erupting and spewing some stress-induced crazy all over them. But somehow I managed to contain myself.

Another time I was on the BART, and this quite large woman got on and stood in such a way as to literally paste me to the wall. I was actually on my tip-toes, unable to put my arms down. Said woman seemed to be completely unaware that she had put me in this awkward position. Again, there was PLENTY of room for her to stand in such a way that did not reduce me to a pancake stuck to the nasty BART wall. Yet, she just stood there. Finally some benevolent man grabbed my arm, pulled me out of my misery ,and gave me his seat. God bless that man, wherever he is.

I just don't understand it. If there is an open space, don't stand RIGHT next to me. If you don't have to, then DO NOT touch me. I have hopes that someday someone will invent a device that emits an invisible force field that will zap people who come within 3 inches of you. You can program it so that friends and loved ones don't get zapped. It will be fabulous. Until then, keep your appendages to yourself, please, and remember, nature abhors a vacuum. Fill that empty space, already!

Its-It's (and no, I don't mean the brand of delicious ice cream sandwich)

The following spelling/grammar/usage mistakes drive me NUTS. When I was a teacher I drilled the rules into my students. I suspect teachers everywhere are drilling these rules into the young, formative minds of their students. And yet I encounter people making these mistakes multiple times, every day. And I'm not talking accidental typos because you're typing too fast. I'm talking people really honestly don't know the rules. ARRRGGHH! (There are many more common errors, but the list below are among the more ubiquitous and egregious.)

THEIR-THEY'RE-THERE

"Their" is a possessive pronoun, as in "That is THEIR house." Note the spelling t-h-e-i-r and not t-h-i-e-r.

"They're" is a contraction, as in the shortened form of "they are," as in "They're going to come over soon."

"There" is for all other uses. "Put it over there." "There is a person at the door."

IT'S-ITS

"It's" is a contraction, as in "it is," as in "It's raining."

"Its" is a possessive pronoun, as in "The dog chased its tail."

GOOD and WELL

When you perform satisfactorily, you say you "did WELL." You do not say you "did GOOD." You can say you "did a good job," using "good" as an adjective. But you do not use "good" as an adverb.

LOSE and LOOSE

If you do not have control of something, you LOSE it, as in "I will hold this tightly so that I do not LOSE it." Or if you do not win, you LOSE. You do not LOOSE a game.

If something is not tight, it is LOOSE, as in "I have to tie up my dog so it does not run LOOSE."

I'm sure I'll think of more...if you think of any, let me know!

Service Industry Employees Who Hate Their Jobs

I used to be a waitress. Over the course of about 5 years, I worked at 3 different restaurants. I encountered really obnoxious customers who made lame jokes, and people who complained no matter what I did, and large parties who came in 10 minutes before closing and kept me there for hours on my $2/hour salary. But I did what I was paid to do...I smiled, I was friendly, I served them. Because it was my JOB. Sure, I had days where I was exhausted, or was having a terrible day. But it wasn't THEIR problem. My job was to serve them, and that is what I did.

Some people in the service industry so clearly HATE what they are doing that they are unable to hide their contempt and do their job. They act annoyed when you are seated in their section. They roll their eyes when you ask questions about the menu. They throw the bill at you and try to push you out of there. As though your existence in the restaurant is somehow a HUGE personal inconvenience to them. Recently I went to breakfast and was seated and smiled and said good morning to my waitress. She frowned and started complaining that she had too many tables. Yeah...not my fault. And now I'm uncomfortable and can't enjoy my meal. And it doesn't help that I'm a people pleaser who fears confrontation. All this drama and I just wanted pancakes and coffee.

Last I checked, restaurants are places where you go to order food and get it served to you. You even pay for this luxury, and if you're served well, you tip. So I don't need the attitude from my server when I am being polite and simply ordering a meal. I don't need to be made to feel uncomfortable or guilty that I am ruining my server's life. This is true for anyone whose job it is to serve: people who work at coffee shops, ice cream places, retail stores, etc. It is their JOB to help the customer. So why be a hater when a customer comes in and simply request that you perform the duties you are being paid to do??

Sometimes customers or patrons are pretty rude, I'll admit that. And if pushed, it is not entirely unreasonable for a service person to stand up for themselves rather than just sit there and take it. But there is something to the adage, "the customer is always right," especially when the customer hasn't done anything to make you mad.

If you hate serving people, then DON'T WORK IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY. If you can't take the heat, then don't have a job where you have to go back and forth from the kitchen. Go work somewhere where you don't have to interact with people and you can be as miserable as you want in your backroom or your cubicle. Or do what I did...go into the big walk-in freezer and swear really loudly before going back to your annoying table with a smile. I felt better, and my customers never knew how much I loathed them.

Filled-to-the-Rim Coffee Cups

Last night I went to a cafe. I asked for a small coffee. The cafe lady asked, "would you like room for cream?" I said, "yes, please." She gave me a cup of coffee filled to the rim.

This ALWAYS happens. Rarely, if ever, does any coffee pourer give you enough room for cream. They maybe give you room for like, a drop or two, IF you want to fill it to the point of spilling. And if that is their default position on an acceptable fill line, then fine, so be it. But if you bother to ASK me, "would you like room for cream," then why don't you actually leave me room for cream???

Recently I tried a new approach. I answered, "yes, please, lots." I thought the addition of "lots" might get me another centimeter or two of room. Nope. Still filled to the rim.

Perhaps these coffee-pouring renegades figure it is better to give me too much instead of not enough. And to be fair, I'm sure there are a bunch of people who complain if their coffee cup isn't sufficiently full. But if you ASK me if I want room, I am giving you license to in fact, give me room. And I will take responsibility for my own disappointment if I don't get enough. Otherwise, I end up dumping some of it into a nearby bus bucket, or if none if available, then into the trash. That makes me feel badly for the person who has to empty the trash. And it generally makes me feel bad to waste an inch of coffee every time I order. Sigh.

One last point on the topic...usually I am ordering coffee because I have not yet had coffee that day. My roommate and boyfriend can attest, you don't want to mess with me before I've had my first cup of the day. So fair warning to you barristas out there...if you ask me if I want room and then don't give it to me, I may not be responsible for my subsequent actions.

Sick People Unnecessarily Out in Public

I am in the middle of studying for the bar. It is obviously stressful, and I am aware that the stress is making me even more prone to irritation than usual. But today I was studying at a coffee shop, and the girl sitting next to me was hacking up a lung and loudly blowing her nose...repeatedly. She was clearly quite sick. And yet, here she was out in public instead of in bed, coughing and blowing away.

WHY do sick people go out into public when they don't NEED to? This girl was with a friend and they were chit-chatting the whole time (quite loudly, but that's beside the point), so obviously she wasn't under some pressing deadline to get something done. So what gives? Last semester during finals the same thing happened...this girl was in the cafe at the law school reading a book, and she had the most horrific sounding cough. I could not figure out WHY was she in a crowded cafe??

Okay, maybe you have work to do. But you are in a CAFE...it is not quiet and there are many distractions. So study at home! Or if for some reason home is even more distracting and/or impossible to work in, then go somewhere less crowded. Otherwise, you're exposing everyone in your vicinity to your infectious germs. Not only is it distracting to have to hear these people coughing, sneezing, and blowing their nose incessantly, but it actually puts the rest of us at risk of getting sick. How unbelievably selfish is that? I understand if you have a final that you can't reschedule, or you can't miss a day of work, or you have a necessary appointment, or you need to go to a store for something...but studying in a crowded, busy place does not strike me as particularly necessary, given the risks to the innocent bystanders around you.

As a related note, I also don't understand the super-loud, honking nose blow. I can blow my nose quite effectively most of the time without sounding like a tortured goose. And if I can't, I excuse myself to the restroom. I believe that's what is known as common courteousy.

So in conclusion, if you are sick and you must be out in public because you will get fired or fail out of school or some other catastrophe will ensue, then you are exempt from these criticisms. But if you are sick and you could be home but you decided to come to a crowded place anyway and spread your disease...then shame on you, you big selfish jerk. You owe me a bottle of Nyquil.