Unabashed Nudity

Let me begin by apologizing about the delay in posting. There were the holidays, then I moved, then I just wasn't feeling inspired. But today in the gym locker room, as I was surrounded by 4 naked ladies well into their 60s, inspiration found me.

I get it...locker rooms are for nudity. You change into your workout clothes, you shower, you get dressed for the outside world. Each of these acts require being naked. And no, you should not have to cover yourself up at every turn or be ashamed of your body. It's only women in the locker room, that's what they're for, it's freeing to not care, blah blah blah.

But there is naked, and there is NAKED. It's the difference between walking naked from the shower to the changing area...and sitting naked on a bench, legs spread wide, having a lengthy conversation with someone. I understand necessary nudity. I just don't understand the "zero modesty whatsoever" policy. It's...for lack of a better word...awkward to be around someone completely nude for an extended period of time. It's awkward to see them drying off their hair while their everything jiggles and shakes. Call me a jerk, but I just don't need to see a woman old enough to be my grandmother bent over putting on lotion. (Shudder)

Mike has to work out at the same gym as his professors. And inevitably, he's had to run into them as they've exited the shower. He's sadly been forced to endure several conversations with professors in the buff. So he basically has to stand there and speak with his superiors, all the while pretending he isn't in close proximity to soggy old man junk.

I suppose locker room nakedness is a necessary evil. And maybe I'm just a prude. Maybe when I'm 60-something I'll stroll around in my birthday suit with reckless abandonment. But until then, I'm mastering the art of lightning fast clothes changing. I want to spend as little time in that flesh fest as possible.