Carl's Jr. Commercials

I hate Carl's Jr. commercials. I hate them so much that I actually MUTE my television when they come on. That is how much I hate them.

Sometimes I fantasize about having a job where my sole purpose is to yea or nay every single potential TV commercial before it gets put on the air. In this fantasy, I instantly ban all Carl's Jr. commercials from ever being televised ever again.

No, I'm not talking about the Hugh Hefner commercial, or the Paris Hilton washing the car commercial, or that GOD-AWFUL rap about flat buns. I know those were controversial, but they have absolutely nothing to do with my hatred of Carl's Jr. commercials.

Here is the root of my hatred of Carl's Jr. commercials: THE SOUND OF PEOPLE EATING.

Almost every Carl's Jr. commercial amplifies the sound of someone biting into a hamburger and then chewing on it. You can hear their teeth pierce the bun, then the lettuce, then the onions, then the patty, then the other side of the bun, and then hear the food rolling around in their mouth for several bites. They also like to turn up the volume on people eating fries and slurping soda. GROSS. I'm shuddering at the thought of it.

It's like nails on a chalkboard. It does NOT make me hungry. It makes my skin crawl. It makes me never want to eat at Carl's Jr. ever (and actually, I never have).

WHO is the ad genius who thinks that listening to someone loudly chomping on food is going to sell burgers??? It is rude, it is disgusting, and it is why I hate Carl's Jr. commercials.

P.S. If you want to be disgusted, here is a prime example of egregious loud eating. Watch/listen to it at your OWN RISK: http://youtube.com/watch?v=TlMfo20RPgk&feature=related

Loud Eating at Inappropriate Times

There are certain foods that you just can't eat without making a lot of noise. These foods include, but are not limited to, the following: apples, carrot sticks, chips, and nuts. Now I am aware that these foods are tasty, and many loud foods are quite healthy. However, there is a time and a place for eating these foods.

It drives me nuts when people eat loud foods when it is otherwise silent, especially when the eating of such foods is disruptive to productivity. I'm not talking about popcorn at the movies, or loud crunching in a busy restaurant. I'm talking about eating carrot sticks when you share a confined work space, eating a granola bar during a timed exam, eating chips during a lecture, eating an apple in the library. In these instances, all I can hear is the damned loud crunching...I can't focus on my work, I can't concentrate on my exam, I can't focus on what the speaker is saying, I can't do any reading. Such egregious chomping in these instances is extremely rude, as you subject everyone else around you to the distracting sound of your loud crunching, at the expense of whatever it is they are trying to do.

I don't understand this practice, as it is easily avoided. In the small, shared workspace example, why not step into another room for a moment, such as the kitchen or cafeteria, so I can do my work in peace? For times when you can't step outside, why not eat before or after I am stuck in a quiet space with you for an extended period of time? Or if you absolutely must eat during this time, why not choose a food that isn't so damn loud, such as a banana, or yogurt, or a muffin?

Like I said, there are times and places for loud eating. Eat your apples and carrots in the cafeteria. Eat them at times when there are other noises present, or when people aren't trying to concentrate. Or at LEAST try to be sensitive and minimize the grating sound of your crunching as much as possible.

So the next time you pull out an apple or a bag of carrots, I URGE you ask yourself if it is appropriate to start chomping away. And if it is quiet and people are likely to be bothered by your eating, PLEASE consider stepping outside, or eating during a break, or bringing a quieter food. I promise you that the people around you will be very, very grateful for your consideration.

Excessively Loud iPods

Thanks to the geniuses at Apple, a large number of people are now able to easily listen to music wherever they go. The iPod is a wonderful device; I carry mine with me wherever I go. It is not wonderful, however, when I am forced to listen to someone else's iPod.

I'm talking about those people who turn the volume up on their iPods so high that I can hear what they are listening to. Putting aside the fact that these individuals are clearly doing some serious damage to their eardrums, listening to other people's music can be a most irritating experience.

First, it is rare that these people are ever listening to anything you actually want to hear. It's usually some hip hop garbage or aggressive heavy metal, or something equally cacophonous. Second, the music is usually loud enough to disrupt whatever you are doing, but not loud enough so you can actually make out the words. This puts you in some strange limbo where you're indundated with bass lines and the like, but can't actually tell what the song is. You may be asking, if it's such bad music, why would you want to hear the words? Well, I don't, but only hearing part of it like that somehow magnifies the annoyingness exponentially.

You may also be asking, why don't you just put on your own iPod? The answer to that would be I do put my music on, but I refuse to turn mine on as loudly as theirs (I value my hearing and do not wish to be a hypocrite), and thus can still hear their music over my own. That's right...my music is playing directly into my eardrums, and I can still hear theirs over it. (Sidenote: I have also tried listening to my iPod to drown out the obnoxious gum chewers from post #1, but once again, to no avail). And furthermore, sometimes I want to read, or just sit quietly...I don't appreciate being forced to listen to music to drown out the dissonance.

So to all of you iPod blasters who seem to have no disregard for those around you: I sincerely worry about your hearing. Please turn the volume down, if not for my sake, then for your own.