Bad Air Travel Behavior and the Not So Friendly Skies

Last week I had to fly from San Francisco to Baltimore and back. That is four flights in all, about 8 hours each way. Now, as much as I could go on and on about the problems with commercial airlines, that is not what this post is about. I will not complain about how the airline charged me not only to book the ticket, but to check a bag, and even to CHOOSE my seat ahead of time (and yes, middle seats cost the same as window and aisle seats). Not to mention the airline no longer carries pillows or blankets and did NOT show a movie on the 5-hour leg, nor was any food available for purchase. No, my friends...this post is about my fellow air travelers and how they are rude, selfish, and clueless. As if being crammed into a stuffy germ box for hours on end wasn't bad enough...

Bad Air Travel Behavior #1: Boarding the Plane

We've all been there...the gate person announces Zone 5 can board, and there is a mad dash amongst Zone 5 ticket holders to be the first in line. They all hover around the gate, waiting for the announcement, chomping at the bit. Apparently, it's really important to be first on the plane so you can spend the most possible time on the oh-so-comfortable plane and fully enjoy your lack of legroom. I mean, the only legitimate reason for this jumping of the gun might be if you are worried there will not be enough room in the overhead compartment for your luggage. But I swear, there is ALWAYS enough room for overhead stowage. They find a way to make your crap fit. So if that is your only reason, then you don't have a leg to stand on.

So the gate person calls Zone 5, and I casually stroll into line, so as not to be trampled by the rush. Some guy decides that he absolutely MUST get onto the plane before me, despite the fact that I got into line first. He devises this tricky plan. Instead of standing BEHIND me, he stands NEXT to me. Then every time the line moves, he takes a tiny step in front of me. When it is time to hand over your ticket, he steps right in front of me and boards first. Smooth move, buddy. For no discernable reason whatsoever, you successfully cut off the passenger who got in line first so that you could be in your seat 3 seconds earlier...you WIN.

Bad Air Travel Behavior #2: On the Plane

Okay, so a 5-hour flight is a long time to sit in silence. Sometimes you might want to strike up a conversation with your neighbor. I have met some delightful people on long flights, including this reporter for the L.A. Times several years ago who recommended some amazing books to me and pointed out that John Edwards was in first class. But sometimes I want to just be left the hell alone. Like last night. I had a really good book and I was really into it, and I did not want to chat.

Guy next to me wasn't down with that. He kept talking to me. He offered me half of his salad. Um...no thanks. He asked me where I was going. He asked me what I did for a living. He offered me a ride home from the airport (even though I told him my boyfriend was picking me up). He tried to carry my bag off the plane. Now, I know he was trying to be nice...but read the social cues, buddy! I was giving you one-word, curt responses and continually looking back to my book. Message: I don't want to chat!! And it's not like I can change seats or get off the plane. So when people are annoying, or worse, creepy, you're a captive audience. You are at their mercy. It's just not fair. I wish there were divider screens, like in limos. Or you should be able to hit your call button and say, "excuse me, Flight Attendant...can you please bring this passenger a clue? Or a muzzle?"

Bad Air Travel Behavior #3: Getting Off the Plane

I've always been amused at how the second the fasten seatbelt sign turns off when you are parked at the gate, everyone stands up. It sucks if you have to go to the bathroom...good luck getting through the aisle. Anyway, it is common knowledge that people de-plane from the front to the back. Each aisle disembarks, and then the next aisle, and so on. It's not that difficult a concept.

WELL...on one of my flights to Baltimore and one of my flights back, rude passengers flagrantly disregarded this standard practice. People from the very back of the plane rudely pushed their way up the aisle, cutting off the people who were entitled to get off the plane first. The woman behind me, for example, bullied her way just far enough in front of me so I couldn't stand up and get my bag. And of course, it worked...she got off the plane before me...giving herself a 1-second advantage over me with her rudeness. Total crap. You let the people in front of you get off first, THEN you get off. You don't flout the rules for your own convenience.

In sum, I love how everyone thinks their time is more important than everyone else's. It's especially amusing because such rudeness doesn't even have a very big payoff. Maybe airlines are also charging extra for courtesy. I mean, if I have to pay to choose my seat in advance, a surcharge for a well-behaved neighbor might not be so far-fetched.