Dogs That Bark in the Night

There is a woman who lives next to me who has a dog named Rodney. I have never actually met the woman who lives next to me, nor have I ever met her dog. How do I know there is a woman who lives next to me who has a dog named Rodney? Because almost every day, I hear "yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip" then "RODNEY!!!" then "yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip" then "RODNEY! SHUT UP, RODNEY!! then "yip-yip-yip-yip-yip" then "YOU SHUT UP NOW, RODNEY!!" I don't know which is more irritating...Rodney's incessant yipping, or his owner's shrill attempts to shut him up. Does she think Rodney can actually understand her? And if Rodney's every yip annoys the ever-loving crap out of her, then why own a dog in the first place?

But at least she tries to shut Rodney up. And to be fair, Rodney's barking usually stops before 10 p.m. There is nothing worse than a barking dog in the middle of the night. You are just about to fall asleep, or maybe you just fell asleep...and then the dog starts barking. And it's never for a short period of time...the dog will bark for no less than 3o minutes. And it's never a yippy dog, like Rodney. It's a dog with a deep bark that penetrates even the soundest of slumbers. The dog wakes up everyone in the neighborhood, except (conveniently) it's owner. The owner seems to be immune, as he or she does nothing to shut the dog up. They don't get out of bed. They don't yell at the dog to be quiet (like my darling neighbor). They don't bring the dog inside to sleep. They leave the dog outside to bark its irritating heart out.

Years ago, I was an elementary school teacher. During my first year of teaching, I not only had to adjust to being out the door by 6:30 a.m., but I also had no idea what I was doing. I would come home beaten and bruised by another rough day, with sleep my only refuge. At about 11 p.m. the dog next door would start at it. Then again at 2 a.m. Then again at 4. Every night, without fail. The owners never did a damn thing about it. The barking almost drove me over the edge. I had fantasies of buying a gun and shooting it in the middle of the night. And no, I am not an animal hater...but it was like some type of psychological torture. Repetitive, obnoxious, sleep-depriving, cacophonous torture. I also thought about filing a complaint with the city, but I decided to move instead. My life was much better in my far-better-insulated apartment.

What I don't understand about these nocturnal barkers is what the hell is going on with their owners?? Teach your dog not to bark all night! Or get up when it barks and stop it somehow. Or make it sleep inside. Or if none of these things work, don't have a dog...you don't deserve one. Some of us are able to control our pets, or some of us choose to not have pets because we don't feel like waking up in the middle of the night, every single night. And yet these incompetent, selfish pet-owners expose their neighbors to the worst part of dog-owning without any of the benefits. Why don't you just let your dog pee on my carpets while you're at it?

Dogs deserve a home where their owner cares enough to do what it takes to keep them from barking all night long. And those of us within earshot deserve an uninterrupted night of sleep. The world is a much nicer, more peaceful place when people are well rested. I mean, I haven't had gun-owning fantasies since I moved away from the barking dog from hell. (Although now I'm having nightmares about gun-owning VP's...sigh...)