One Downers

Okay...I admit that these people are basically one uppers, and I have already done a one upper post...but I am talking about a particular kind of one upper. These are the people who have it SO much worse than you. And not only do they have it worse than you, but they have it so bad that you aren't even allowed to feel bad at ALL. These people are self-absorbed egomaniacs.

Here's an example. You are upset because you got rejected from a job you really, really wanted. It was your dream job in a dream location, and you thought you had a good chance, but you didn't get it. Though it was only one job, you are understandably upset about your rejection. One Downer would say, I don't want to hear it, I've been rejected from three jobs, I have it SO much worse.

Or you're confiding in a friend about how you got into a very upsetting fight with your mother. You and your mother usually get along well, so it's upsetting to you. One Downer says, oh whatever, you have no right to complain, your mother is a saint, while my mom is awful all the time, I have it SO much worse.

Here is the thing...even if One Downer does have it worse, it's NOT THE POINT. Whatever you are going through is hard for YOU or upsetting to YOU. Just because they have it worse doesn't mitigate what you're feeling. Like, say you broke your arm. True, it would be worse if you had to have it amputated...but just because it could have been worse doesn't mean the broken bone doesn't hurt like a bitch!

Someone will always have it worse. Things could always be worse. You could have a million good things going for you. But when you get rejected from a job, or when you are upset about a fight with a person you love, the last thing you want is for someone to tell you that your misfortune isn't bad enough to validate what you are feeling. That is just absolute garbage. If you are someone who tells other people that their feelings aren't justified, take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror (but not in the narcissistic, self-important way you usually do).

DISCLAIMER: There is one caveat to this post. Certain people should not share certain feelings with certain other people. Like, if your parents are paying for your school, and you are upset because you have to buy a used car instead a brand new car, don't you DARE complain about money to someone who is paying for school on their own and barely making ends meet. Or if you got into a silly fight with your boyfriend, don't complain about it to your friend who just went through a painful breakup, don't whine about your parents to someone whose parents have passed away, don't talk about hating your job to someone who just got fired, etc. etc. Yes, I know this seems like basic human decency, but oh-so-many people don't seem to grasp this. These people are even worse self-absorbed egomaniacs. They should be slapped.