Bad Borrowers

Call me crazy, but isn't it true that if someone borrows something from you, then they are also obligated to return it to your possession? And I don't just mean they need to give it back because it doesn't belong to them. I mean they need to do the work to get it back to you.

Recently I have been noticing a trend that goes against this basic principle. A person will borrow something that belongs to me, but then expect me to come get it when they are done. Okay, so let me get this straight...I give you something that belongs to ME. You don't have to pay to use the item, you don't have to purchase your own item, and you get to enjoy the benefits of its use. If you don't return it, however, then not only do I gain nothing by letting you take my property, and I am deprived of its use while you have it, but I must now expend time and effort to get it back??? What the hell is that?

Example: a friend borrowed a cookbook from me. She has borrowed it multiple times. Why she has not gone out and bought her own copy, since she likes it so much, is beyond me. She doesn't just keep it until she's done with it. She keeps it until I ask for it back. When I need it, I have to drive all the way to her apt. to get it. Maybe next time she borrows it, I should just bend over for her. (Note: there will not be a next time. I have learned my lesson.)

If these are the rules of exchange (that you use my shit and then I have to go out of my way to get it back when you decide that you're done with it), then why on earth would we ever let anyone borrow anything?? It doesn't seem like there's much benefit to that bargain.

The rules should be: use it, return it promptly. If you need to keep it longer, you ask permission or at least apologize. If it is damaged in any way, you offer to pay for the damage or you replace it. And always always always, unless another agreement is reached, YOU return it. You don't expect the lendee to have to come get it. I thought these rules were well known, but apparently not.

My new policy is that if someone borrows my stuff and makes me go get it back, then that's the last thing they ever borrow from me. You've been warned!