Overwhelming Odor Emission

People who emit overwhelming odors drive me NUTS. They carry a strong cloud of scent with them wherever they go, assaulting our nasal passages ruthlessly. If their scent was visible, they would look like Pig Pen from Charlie Brown. Now, if you smell strongly for some medical reason, then I am not talking about you. I'm talking about people who emit strong odors of their own volition.

Sometimes the overwhelming odor is due to perfume or cologne. Not to knock perfume; I wear it every day. I have multiple bottles of it, and I wear a different scent every day. My favorites are Dolce and Gabanna Light Blue and Acqua Di Gio. I spray it ONE TIME...onto my wrists, which I rub together, and then I rub my wrists onto my neck. One spray is plenty. That way, I smell nice, but only if you get really close. Some people spray once on their wrists and once on their necks. That is also reasonable, though I personally feel it is excessive.

What is EGREGIOUS, however, is any more than two sprays. What are these people thinking?? Perfume/cologne is strong, concentrated stuff. We will smell you with two sprays, I promise. When you bathe yourself in the stuff, you take a good thing and absolutely ruin it. You announce your presence with your powerful aroma, killing plants as you walk by and forcing a possibly carcinogenic cloud into the lungs of those around you. And some people have allergies to perfume, so you actually can make them physically sick with your offensive spraying. I actually am allergic to some perfumes; they make me really nauseous. I used to work with this woman who wore so much perfume I had to hold my breath when she was near me. I could smell her two cubicles away, and I would be constantly queasy. It ruined my day, every day. Thanks a lot, lady. And it never fails...the people who wear a ton of perfume or cologne never wear GOOD perfume or cologne. Ick. Perfume should be subtle and delightful; it shouldn't beat you over the head and into the ground.

Other people emit overwhelming body odor. I would venture to say this makes most people ill. Like I said, if you emit a pungent smell for some legitimate health (or other) reason, then my apologies. But some people just have piss poor hygiene, and they STANK. My dear friend, Elana, said she was recently at the movies and the guy in front of her smelled so badly that she had to hold the perfume sample from her magazine to her nose the whole time. Now that is just RUDE. He gets to sit there all funky while ruining the experience of the other paying movie-goers. Use some better soap, or shower more frequently, or do your laundry more often.

I suspect that a majority of these stinky people need to rethink their view on deodorant/antiperspirant. For example, they should USE it. Yeah, that's right...there are still people who don't wear deodorant. God knows WHY. I've heard some people say, "You don't need deodorant, it's so unnatural, and if you stop using it, your body adjusts." What's funny is that the people who say that SMELL BADLY. Know why? Because your body does NOT adjust. That's just bull. It's like saying, if you stop brushing your teeth, then your body will adjust and fight plaque on its own. Um...no it won't...all of your teeth will fall out. And if you don't use deodorant, you will stink to high heaven, and you will disgust everyone in your presence with your stinkiness. It's just plain rude and SO not sexy.

So please...wash those pits and put on some deodorant. Bathing is a wonderful thing (as long as you're not bathing in cologne).