Update on Post #3: A trip down I-5 (and back)

After driving to LA from Berkeley (and back again) on the monotonous and cow-infested I-5 this weekend, I felt the need to revisit post #3 (slow drivers in the passing lane).

In case you were unsure, I want to assure you that slow drivers are still traveling in the passing lane. My traveling companion and I spent a large portion of the drive playing high-speed frogger, weaving in and out of large trucks, RVs, and other annoying slow drivers. Most annoying are RVs and large trucks that decide to pass other RVs and large trucks. They are only going 5 mph (at best) faster, and thus it takes them forever to pass. Since I-5 is only two lanes, a loooooong line of angry drivers accumulates. We would get past this frustrating impediment and blissfully turn on the cruise control at 85, only to have to hit the brakes a minute later due to another errant RV or large truck. If a speed limit is 70, you have NO business being in the left lane going 65!!!

And it's not just large trucks and RVs...regular old cars are still egregious violators. These people like to drive exactly the same speed as a large truck, making it impossible for anyone to get around them. These people need to be slapped. Speed up for a minute and get in front of the truck, or slow down and get behind it. Just don't drive RIGHT NEXT TO IT!!! And I can't emphasize this enough...if multiple cars are passing you on the right, then what are you doing in the left lane??? GET OVER! Oh...and most of these people aren't even going the SPEED LIMIT. That's right...not only are they driving slower than the flow of traffic, they are actually driving UNDER the speed limit permitted by LAW.

Now that we have a portable GPS (I love you, Garmin), I was able to actually track the time wasted due to obnoxious and inconsiderate slow drivers in the passing lane. When we were free to go 85, we would shave several minutes off of our ETA. When those jerks were clogging up the flow of traffic, we would lose several minutes from our ETA. There it is people: tangible evidence of the precious time these selfish people steal from others.

Most people on I-5 have been driving for hours. They want to be on I-5 for the least amount of time possible. So I BEG you...pick up the speed or stay in the right lane. But please...don't prolong the time we have to spend smelling cow and getting showered with industrial-size bug splats.

Failure to Indicate Intent to Turn

You're driving along happily, following the flow of traffic, and then all of a sudden some jerk in front of you slows down to turn left. Without warning you have to slam on the brakes and wait for the jerk to turn. Sometimes, the jerk can't turn because of oncoming traffic, and you have to sit there and wait for the jerk to turn so you can go on your way. The big question is: why didn't the jerk just put his damn blinker on???

If the jerk HAD put his blinker on, then I would have slowed down gradually so I didn't have to stop short, and I most definitely would have had time to get into the other lane and pass the jerk. But the jerk took away my opportunity to do so. Because he is a jerk. (And you know who else are jerks? ALL the people behind you who move to the other lane to get around the first jerk, but NO ONE slows down to let you get over. They're like: ha ha, sucker! I'm free! You can sit there and rot!!!" Such poor form.)

There are amazing reasons that cars have blinkers. For one, we as a human race have not yet figured out how to read each other's minds. We can't always guess what our fellow drivers are thinking or anticipate what moves they are going to make. For safety and courtesy, the blinker tells me, "that large, heavy piece of metal going 60 mph is about to get right in front of me," or "this guy is going to take a left on a busy road, and thus if I am behind him, I will be stuck there for a long time." These are clearly important pieces of information to have. And it's not like putting on your blinker is difficult...you push the damn thing up or down! That's it! It's SO easy! And yet MILLIONS of people just decide they can't be bothered. They are apparently too cool for blinkers.

Particularly egregious are people who very suddenly cut you off with no blinker. If you MUST cut someone off, the LEAST you can do is give them SOME indication of your intent to do so. Unless you're actually looking to get rear-ended. I mean, maybe some drivers are out there hoping to get hit? And if you're one of those people who cuts people off, fails to use the blinker, and then goes SLOWER than the car you cut off...well, don't expect any sympathy when you're the victim of road-rage-induced violence.

So I beg you, USE the blinker. Your hands are already on the wheel (presumably), so it's RIGHT there! It takes about one second of your time and such minimal energy. And it saves everyone else on the road from almost rear-ending you and/or plotting your painful demise.

And one last thing while I'm at it...what's up with people crossing multiple lanes seconds before their exit? Plan ahead, people! Cars are not toys, driving is not a game. How a majority of people passed their driving tests is beyond me...

Unnecessary Driving in the Passing Lane

When I took Driver's Ed all those years ago, my instructor, Gordon, drilled into our young minds that the left lane of the highway was for PASSING ONLY. Much to my chagrin, it seems as though Gordon was among the few who included this gem of a lesson in the Driver's Ed curriculum. If I had a nickel for every time I was stuck behind some irritating driver going the speed limit (or lower) in the passing lane, well...I'd have enough to pay off my law school loans.

It's such a simple concept: If you are going the speed limit (or lower), then travel in the right-hand lane. If you are going faster than the flow of that lane, then move over to the left lane. When it seems as though you are no longer going faster than the flow of traffic (and pay attention...here's the key to the whole concept), GET BACK IN THE RIGHT-HAND LANE. This way, those who wish to go faster than you are able to. Very, very simple. So if it's so simple, then why am I constantly being stuck behind slow drivers in the left lane? Why do drivers who are going the exact same speed (or slower) than the cars in the right-hand lane feel the need to drive on the left and effectively shut down the fast lane?

Not only is unnecessary driving in the passing lane extremely rude and frustrating, it is very unsafe. Besides inciting road rage, these drivers force people who do not wish to drive 60 mph in a 55 mph zone to pass on the right, or to weave in and out of traffic to get around the slow drivers. This could all be easily avoided if people treated the left lane as it should be treated: as the PASSING, not the traveling lane. Did these drivers not have a Gordon in their lives to explain this basic, yet highly effective practice?

It is especially irritating when you are on a long road trip and you've been happily cruising at 75-80, when bam--you're forced down to 60 by some jerk in the left lane going EXACTLY the same speed as the drivers in the right lane. They don't move over, you get stuck behind them, a line of frustrated motorists accumulates...and these drivers continue on, seemingly oblivious. Do these people not see the line of cars accumulating behind them? Do they not care? Do they have a special fondness for the shoulder of the left lane? Or do they get a kick out of seeing the angry drivers in their rear-view mirrors, cursing and shaking their fists?

Whatever the reasons may be, these drivers really, really drive me nuts. To all of you drivers out there who know that the left lane is the passing lane, bless you, and please spread the gospel. And to Gordon, wherever you are: thank you.