Aspiring Musicians

Last night Mike and I were on BART going to his graduation party. (Hooray for Mike! He has a JD!!! Congrats!) To my supreme annoyance (but also mild amusement), two aspiring musicians were sitting behind us.

These two fit every cliche you can imagine. White, 20-something, shabbily dressed, likely high. One of them was a WBWD (white boy with dreads). Mike and I couldn't help but listen to their loud conversation during the 30-minute ride whille we silently judged them. In between all the "dudes" and the "mans" and the "ya knows," the dialogue contained some real gems. Below are a few excerpts from their "deep" conversation:

-Dude, you really need to push your chops.

-I'm trying to make music that's outside the box, man.

-I'm still not down from the clouds, man, ya know?

-I'm trying to push my sonic level.

-We're just like, on a different creative journey.

-There's been this stagnant vibe, dude.

And my personal favorite:
Dude number one: Dude, this is the SUMMER of seeing shows.
WBWD: Wait...didn't we spend all of LAST summer seeing shows?
Dude number one: Well, like, this summer will be even BETTER.

And at one point, WBWD got all serious and says, "I've got to admit it's getting better. It's getting better...all the time." Then they both pondered how deep those lyrics are. Oh...my...GOD.

I swear, all of those statements were all actually said by these two dudes. Mike is my witness. I even took out a piece of paper from my purse and wrote them down, so that their profound wisdom would not be lost in the universe.

BARF...ME. Why are so many aspiring musicians such blatant cliches??? I know I sound like a big jerk (and hell, maybe I am a big jerk), but I have dated three aspiring musicians in my past, and they all fit this stereotype to a TEE. I have yet to meet any aspiring musician who was any different from any other aspiring musician. From my experience, they are pretentious, think they are SO unique, and love to blame the world for "not understanding them." And most often don't have gainful employment. Who has time to work when you're "changing the world with your unique sound," ya know?

Dude, man, whatever you are...take a shower, put down the bong, and get a JOB, like, ya know. The odds are you possess mediocre musical ability, your songs are probably boring at best, and there exists an outside chance in hell that you will "make it." If you must, keep your bass guitar as a nice little hobby, and hit up the occasional open mic night...but how about growing up a bit? There is nothing unique about you, except that you are uniquely NOT contributing to society.